- your v i n t a g e rockstar.

; when reality hits you hard.

went t sch for proj discussion this morning. my elective prof is damn on, second week of sch and he wants us t do presentation already. damn scared i cant catch up w his on-ness. and i added another baf elective today, i just hope i wont die under the workload.

i think i have been in my comfort zone for too long. or maybe i just chose to ignore certain things so that i dont have to change myself. well, as they say, ignorance is bliss. but it certainly isnt blissful when you find out what you have been ignorant about all these while.

yea and i discovered smth lately. there is a hell lot of zai ppl hiding in various places in sch. some of them are well-known, some of them are not so well known among the normal students but all the smartest ppl know they exist. there are so many of such ppl that i'm surrounded by. the worst thing is i'm not one of them! i'm like the most 没出息 one. i dont have an impressive cca record, neither do i have an excellent academic record. i also dont have a broad knowledge of current affairs, and i'm not leader material. i think i'm a damn sad case, cos usually ppl who have no brains are beautiful and vice versa. but i obviously dont have both. i have nothing t my name and i'm so average until i cant be anymore average. and needless t say, my job upon graduation is also an average one with average pay. how special can my job be when nearly 3/4 of the cohort is going to be doing the same thing as me?

sigh, but who can i blame when i did not work my ass off harder, when i chose t use my free time on shopping rather than joining more meaningful ccas and activities like CASE competition, when i chose t shun newspapers for magazines like CLEO and what not and when my weird personality just doesnt seem t fit into any bank's culture.

but i still cannot overcome the emotions i felt when i knew abt someone's grades. that someone leads an even more slack university life than me, does not study much till the last few weeks before exams, has that gift t crap during exams and has generally always not done better than me in the past. but that someone's most recent grades were not only better than mine, but nearly straight As kind like a first class honours student's usual grades! how would you feel if you know someone who is not as smart/capable as you but he/she does so much better suddenly in the 2nd last sem of uni? or maybe its not that someone is getting smarter, just that that someone knows how to make use of their strength to do better. so maybe i'm not smart enough to choose electives which are areas i'm stronger in so that i can do better and pull up my gpa.

but either way somehow i just feel 不服. i know its not right cos that someone is a friend, and i shld be feeling happy that someone is doing smth abt studies but i cannot help it. and a lot of my friends told me not t think abt the past semester and focus on doing well this semester instead. i'm trying, but the recollection of my disgraceful performance last sem just bruises my ego badly. :( and it doesnt do any good t my confidence.

sigh, i've ranted long enough and i dont expect anyone to finish reading this post. but if you've actually read this far, thanks for reading and sharing my woes. i'm going to read up on my elective now, since i need to go for another meeting tmr t finalise on the presentation

& for you, i would.

Friday, January 11, 2008

; hello world!

i'm back t blogging again!! ahhaa. since everyone is asking me t blog again. okay la thats just an excuse. actually my fingers are itching t blog again also.. tee hee! ok the past 9 days of 2008 werent very eventful for me, except that school started 3 days ago and i'm not in the mood for sch! obviously. i'm still happily looking at online shopping websites, sleeping long hours, watching tv etc etc.

went to taiwan during dec 2007. yet t upload the pictures but i'm doing it soon. cos my favourite imagestation decided t close down, so i thought i'd shift all of the pictures to flickr and upload my taiwan pics at the same time.

ive been reading ppl's blogs the past few days. seems like alot of ppl are doing v well! a friend applied for law school in US, went over t vegas for a holiday and got a totally new hairdo. lt came back from china few weeks back and its really great t see her blogging again. :P and i read from lt's blog that sihui is making big bucks from giving tuition. how cool is that?!?!! so many of my friends are like making big bucks doing smth out of sch, be it tuition or managing an online shop. and me? not only am i not making money, i'm spending my money instead of saving them. tsk tsk.

so my new year's resolution is to save money, spend less, slp early, LOSE WEIGHT and shed fats (this is of utmost importance)! may i be able to continue doing these till 31 dec 2008!

>>

to all: HELLO GUYS I'M BACK!!! :D

& for you, i would.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

; hiatus.

i'm gonna take a break from blogging for awhile. theres just too much t do this sem and i feel bad for not updating regularly. :( and with the packing of stuff and shifting house, dont have much time left alr..

but anyway! i'm so glad my midterm's coming soon. then i can get a really good rest. and finally go shopping! :P yayyy

take care everyone~~

>>

Jain ; yes babe, we're moving. so sadddddddddd :(

carrie ; HEYYYY dearie i miss you lots too!! you changed blog add again huh? anw go get facebook! ahha i just found huiqi the other day thru it. btw are you still tanning? the weather's pretty bad these days.. and i'm reallyy gonna miss my homeee sob sob.. took a few pictures of my house for memory's sake ;P

& for you, i would.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

; i'm moving.

i'm leaving behind 14 years of memories with my home in Upper Thomson come mid-sept. my parents sold the house and found a new place in Novena. we're renting it though, cos they wanted t wait for property prices t drop before buying another house.

its so sad.. i'm so emotionally attached to my present house and i cant imagine not coming back t this house. i can no longer go through the gates of my home, no longer stand at my porch and look up at the skies, no longer sit outside my door and enjoy the breeze. this house wont be mine anymore, it'll be someone else's. i'm going to miss everything around here: the road back, the small little park in front of my house, the bus stops and even miss the back alley shortcut that i always take.

even if i can still go t thomson plaza, have supper along the stretch of food outlets and continue going t my church opposite, the feeling wont be the same anymore. i'm no longer a resident at upper thomson, just a 'visitor'.

this is so depressing. i think i'd come back once in awhile next time, just t see how the new owners are treating my house. :((

& for you, i would.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

; upside down.

whoops its been a long time since i last blogged! dont know why, just didnt really have the mood t blog. ive been playing around with facebook pretty often.. maybe thats why. haa

anyway nothing much happened la. sentosa w rolyn last tues but we didnt get tanned cos of the damned weather. speaking of which, it was so rainy last week that i thought this week would be the same too so i had other plans. but guess what! the sun has been damn bright this entire week! GAHH. i'm so going t swim tomorrow.

and i went t the zoo today! and bumped into 2 of my hc gfs. haha apparently they sneaked in cos their friend works in the zoo. so they saved on entrance fees and tram fare when my ant and i had t pay 43 bucks in all! the zoo was quite fun, but some of the animals disappeared la. like the sunbear, they said they moved them t another habitat and needs some time t adapt so they cant let visitors view them yet. ;( and i cant find the komodo dragon!! their habitat is like dry and empty! so sad! but the otters and squirrels and mongoose were very cuteee. small furry animals. i like!

ahh thats abt the highlights of the past 2 weeks. been having quite abit of family probs these days.. or maybe they're always present but just surfaced recently. i'm like racking my brains t find a win-win solution, but it seems quite impossible cos one party wont budge. thought of something else, something which i really dont wish t do and its my last resort. i hope its the right thing t do. :(

anddddd the hols are coming t an end. school's starting next tues for me, and i have a full day event t attend t on monday. haiyo why does time have t pass so fast??!

>>

lye ; haha tt means your skin color is like stuck in the middle now la?? i keep saying i wanna go suntan but sometimes i'm damn lazy. like i wake up and see that the sun's good but i just cant get my ass down t the swimming pool. lol.. nvm when you wanna go suntan you can ask me, i'll go w you~

& for you, i would.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

; pure bliss.

oh it sure feels good when you get t slp late and wake up late! the joy of lazing around at home ^^v

and so. i signed up for a basic sailing course today. finally i get t learn sailing. i rmb i wanted t join sailing as a cca when i went jc. alas, hwa chong didnt have sailing. -frowns. which is why i was in touch rugby. but touch is really fun too! so no regrets i guess.

and ive been on a reading frenzy recently. ever since last tues ive been going in and out of the library so often! i managed t borrow some shopaholic books (oh lucky me!) and i realise that one shld really visit the library during non-peak periods. whatever books i was looking for were always available! usually i have a hard time looking for my books during june/dec hols. and cos of the loan quota i couldnt borrow all of them, only 4 at a time. so for the rest of my hols i shld read as much as i can.. ;x

tmr i'm going sentosa! yay i hope the sun's good! and i just found out another friend coming t nbs too! woohooo this is cool and exciting!

>>

jain ; hehe send me the song??

lye ; haha okay!! but what movie?? ive watched transformers and harry potter already~ and yeaaa dresses rock! so happyyy ^^

& for you, i would.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

; holiday mood.

ok i meant t blog since two weeks ago, but i'm always interrupted by other stuff! i'm so sorry i havent been updating. my blog is collecting dust and cobwebs i know. sometimes i'm just lazy cos there hasnt been much going on lah. other than tax comps and lunch and me falling asleep at my work desk. oops ;x

but there will be starting from tmr!! for starters, i'll be queuing at donut factory with my other interns t buy donuts for the perm staff at ey! why? cos its our LAST DAY of internship on friday!! YAY! and of cos i'll be getting some myself. haha. hmm apparently when i told this t ziyu the other day he was very very amused by this new singaporean craze over donuts.

and on fri i'll be having dinner w the 4 truth ppl! hopefully keshia's coming! damn happy t see the class again. and then on sat morning i'm meeting up w my touch mates t play touch! super excited abt it. lol.

ive got so much fun stuff in my plans! though school vacation started 2 months ago, this is the REAL beginning of my holidays :D and people! i'm gonna be free for a mth before school starts, so start asking me out now now nowwww

but priority goes t my baby ;P tee hee

>>

Jain ; -winks. yea babe! and its true for quite alot of my friends too ahha :D

& for you, i would.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007